Editor's note: In light of the poster removal scandal, the Editorial Board reconsidered a motion made at their March 30, 2014 meeting. The reconsidered motion failed, and the following endorsement should be considered invalid. Read more...
Monthly Archives: April 2014
Comments Off on President of the Union: Frank Abissi
After discussion, the Editorial Board of The Polytechnic has elected to endorse no on all three Union Constitution-related questions. Read more...
Comments Off on Referenda relating to the Union Constitution: No
1. Why do you want to be Grand Marshal? Read more...
Comments Off on Grand Marshal Q&A
1. Why do you want to be President of the Union? Read more...
Comments Off on President of the Union Q&A
On behalf of the staff of The Polytechnic, I'd like to thank you for making last week's April Fools' issue the most-read issue this semester—and, as far as my knowledge goes back, many years. Read more...
Comments Off on April Fools’ issue most popular edition this semester
Expect big changes in the dining halls soon, as Sodexo has just enacted new policies that will go into immediate effect at Sage Dining Hall, Commons Dining Hall, Blitman Residence Commons, and BARH dining halls. This new policy will get rid of all utensils and plates in the dining halls, following a wave of new changes to increase efficiency, reduce the environmental impact, and save money. “We’re always looking at ways to cut our water waste, and this just seemed like the right choice after getting rid of trays,” stated Maury Black, resident district manager of Sodexo in the area. Read more...
Comments Off on Sodexo to nix plates, utensils
ΠΛΥ, formally known by many as Le Polyteknique, has gotten a lot of heat lately from the school. As proud brothers, we can honestly say that most of the allegations are unfortunately true. While we’re on academic probation right now, we feel like this is a great time to clear some stuff up. Read more...
Comments Off on Staff Editorial: Yo bro, join Le Poly!
I am going to start of this review stating, outright, that this is the best live action-feature film I have ever seen in my life. For anyone who is a fan of British vegetarian goblins, I would highly recommend this movie. However, even if you aren’t necessarily the biggest vegetarian goblin fan, I would strongly emphasize that you should watch this movie. This movie will make you scream “ohh my god.” Read more...
Comments Off on Troll 2 provides more than just scares
Hey there, sports fans. Today, in the world of RPI sports, something major has happened. RPI football has declared that they will be moving to Division I-A. There are skipping both Division II and Division I-AA. However, this news comes to no surprise for all football fans since the addition of Eastern Campus Athletic Village. Along with the announcement, they have declared that the Southern Conference has accepted RPI to join their division. The SEC is full of teams like Alabama and Louisiana. In total, SEC has accumulated 33 Division I National Championships. Now the Engineers will be competing with these teams in order to win their own National Championship. Read more...
Comments Off on RPI Athletics + SEC
In a report released February 29, the NCAA President Emmit Malcolm recommended that all conferences of men’s Division I hockey should consider a change in color for pucks used during regular season games. The report proudly unveils the new eggshell-hued pucks planned for integration in time for the 2014–15 season. Malcolm, along his esteemed committee of former players, coaches, and shortstops from Crimea, North Korea, Yugoslavia, and Western Chile, believe that moving college hockey in this new direction will make it a radically safer sport, also leading to an exponential increase in fan attendance. Read more...
Comments Off on NCAA changes hockey puck color, cites safety
I have been in the greatest longterm relationship, it has been truly the greatest 73,267,200 seconds ever … yeah right. My “partner” had everything going for her between her literally endless nagging and overall hatred of everything enjoyable. She is just plain great! Read more...
Comments Off on My amazing girlfriend
This past Saturday, I had the pleasure of attending another one of the Experimental Media and Performing Arts Center’s newest experiences. The combination performance/installation, titled “Studio 1,” was an abstract, modern take on avant-garde principles used by artists for years. Its automatistic approach, combined with the proletarian ideals evoked by the performance, generated an entirely novel experience—one that may very well have been the first of its kind altogether. Read more...
Comments Off on New EMPAC installation wows reporter
On Wednesday, March 26, several members of the RPI Athletics led by Director Brick Thamer addressed the Office of the President in hopes of expanding its program to include several additional Division III sports. This action was due in large part to a new report by the Rensselaer Financial Planning Committee saying that funds being saved for the construction of the Nuclear Research and Development Facility in nearby Colonie will no longer be required. Why? Because on Thursday, March 20, the Environmental Protection Agency declared the formation of such a facility to be in direct violation of the Safe Living Environment Standards called for in the National Environmental Safety Act of 1982. This act says that “no site designed for the production of nuclear energy (which would therefore store nuclear wastes on its grounds) can be placed within 10 miles of the nearest house or living area.” Read more...
Comments Off on RPI considers additional sports choices
On Monday, the Student Senate met to discuss the recent silverware policy instituted at all dining halls. For those that do not know, Sodexo recently rid all dining halls of all silverware and plates in order to save money and reduce environmental impact. However, in doing so, Sodexo completely bypassed student government. Vladimir Putin, the guest speaker that day, presided over the meeting. Read more...
Comments Off on Putin gives advice, explains plan during Senate
So, there’s this guy that I have been dating for over two years. We began seeing each other in high school, and have gone through a lot throughout our two-year relationship. However, I think that it’s time to end it. I can’t deal with him and his shenanigans anymore. Read more...
Comments Off on My amazing boyfriend
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Nam at nibh placerat, rhoncus erat rhoncus, tristique augue. Integer vel feugiat lectus. Sed eleifend semper mollis. In hac habitasse platea dictumst. Aenean lacus nisl, volutpat in sagittis nec, pellentesque eu leo. Aliquam feugiat mauris vitae pharetra faucibus. Vestibulum nec molestie elit. Nunc commodo massa nec turpis semper, in hendrerit purus auctor. Cras dapibus, orci eget sollicitudin lacinia, lacus libero eleifend lorem, sodales convallis metus enim in justo. Read more...
Comments Off on People don’t read paper, editor gives up
On Saturday, March 29, I was given the once in a life time opportunity to interview the legendary, one and only, world renown, Coach. This coach has earned so many awards that they speak for themselves. He has won so many games and lost so few that his record speaks wonder towards his coaching ability. For any of you who have been living under a rock and don’t know who he is, Coach is the preeminent role model, and one of the most respected human beings of RPI athletics. Coach has been at RPI for many years and in his tenure he has made many playoff tournaments. When I first sat down with Coach, I was blown away by his professional demeanor and confidence. Read more...
Comments Off on Coach speaks: exclusive interview with the legend
This past weekend, the Experimental Media and Performing Arts Center unveiled a huge surprise installation involving the whole building. Joe Gobbel, director of EMPAC, released an official statement Friday, in which he states, “We’ve always looked for ways to push experimental art and thought at EMPAC, so the next logical step for us was to stop focusing on the limitations of human development and move to the sky.” For those who may have been out of town, the spherical wooden concert hall that once sat in the middle of EMPAC is now floating miles above in the upper stratosphere. In the released statement, the choice to move EMPAC high above Earth just seemed right. Gobbel writes, “the new addition has allowed for better acoustics, broader use of the concert hall as a creative space, and an orbital laser cannon to end the futility of life on our planet.” Read more...
Comments Off on EMPAC reaches new heights, sustainability
When I was elected Grand Marshal, there were certain secrets that were entrusted to me for safe keeping. Some pertained to RPI’s future while others touched upon the ever importance of student safety. However there is one secret that was shared with the implicit level of confidentiality. This particular legend is something that I wish to confirm with all students before I leave my office. It is too important not to distribute to others and I fear all will be lost if I do not share my story with you today. Read more...
Comments Off on The mythical Weather Machine is real
On Tuesday, April 1, Josh Goldberg, the creator of Full Screen Mario, will be unveiling his newest full screen creation: Pokemon. The game will be rolling out on his website, www.fullscreenpokemon.com. Contrary to Full Screen Mario, which took Goldberg more than a year to develop, the entire Full Screen Pokemon engine and maps took but a rainy Saturday’s work. Additionally, Full Screen Pokemon was coded in AstleyScript, instead of Mario’s JavaScript. Read more...
Comments Off on Web Pokemon is what we’re thinking of