RPI Athletics + SEC

Hey there, sports fans. Today, in the world of RPI sports, something major has happened. RPI football has declared that they will be moving to Division I-A. There are skipping both Division II and Division I-AA. However, this news comes to no surprise for all football fans since the addition of Eastern Campus Athletic Village. Along with the announcement, they have declared that the Southern Conference has accepted RPI to join their division. The SEC is full of teams like Alabama and Louisiana. In total, SEC has accumulated 33 Division I National Championships. Now the Engineers will be competing with these teams in order to win their own National Championship.

The whole RPI athletic program has been ecstatic with the recent news. RPI Athletic Director Brick Thamher stated, “I have never been so happy to hear the news, I am very confident that the RPI football team will be able to win a National Championship within the next couple years.” He went on to talk about the Engineers’ schedule he has begun to make. I was told that they will be starting off their season playing Tennessee at Tennessee, then they will be playing the historic Alabama football team at ECAV.

RPI coach Richard Gutierrez VIII, after hearing the news said “wow, this team may have not won the championship in Division III but, I can almost guarantee a Division I-A National Championship. My team has been hard at work since the news was released. We increased the total amount of lifts per week from one to 1.5.” After talking to the RPI football coach, the team seems like they will be more than ready to take on the challenge of Division I SEC football.

I was able to catch up to Engineers football Captain Big Joe, had this to say “Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!” Such inspirational words from such a historic captain. Big Joe will be a key part of the team’s success in the upcoming year. When asked about his thoughts on the upcoming season he said, “It’s going to be killer man. We are going to crutch the competition.” With this kind of confidence from such an inspirational player, it would be hard pressed to find anyone who thinks RPI won’t have a successful season.

RPI football fans everywhere are excited to see what the team will be able to accomplish in the upcoming season. One of the biggest RPI football fans, Ron Razorman, said, “We are going to the top. Number one baby. Number one.” Fans everywhere are showing the same emotion as Razorman with ticket sales going through the roof. This upcoming season is looking to bring in a profit of five million dollars.

In my expert opinion, having watched RPI football for 37 years, RPI looks like they will be able to have one of the most successful seasons in NCAA football history. Football fans everywhere should begin to buy tickets so they can witness the historic upcoming season for the Engineers.