Sodexo to nix plates, utensils

SODEXO INSTITUTES new plateless, utensiless policy. Students will be able to eat with their hands to reduce environmental impact and save money.

Expect big changes in the dining halls soon, as Sodexo has just enacted new policies that will go into immediate effect at Sage Dining Hall, Commons Dining Hall, Blitman Residence Commons, and BARH dining halls. This new policy will get rid of all utensils and plates in the dining halls, following a wave of new changes to increase efficiency, reduce the environmental impact, and save money. “We’re always looking at ways to cut our water waste, and this just seemed like the right choice after getting rid of trays,” stated Maury Black, resident district manager of Sodexo in the area.

According to her announcement, it appears as though this policy has been in the works for a while. “We’ve been going through secret trial runs by regularly not having enough plates, forks, or anything else students would normally need to eat a meal properly,” Black declared. “After seeing the ingenuity of the great students at RPI deal with this new challenge, by using pizza slices as makeshift plates and trying to build spoons out of vegetables at the salad bar, I think it turns every meal into an important engineering activity.”

Unfortunately for Black and Sodexo, they have received their fair share of criticism for this change. Some cite the fact that not only will Sodexo no longer have to pay the immense costs of washing the plates and utensils, but will no longer have to replace the stolen or damaged items and that this whole shift is not entirely for the student’s well being. Black responds that they’ve “gotten some resistance from a small minority of the student population who just want to be able to eat food when they swipe in,” but she believes that over time this new system will win people over.

Black also let it slip that they were planning more big changes at the dining halls. “Coming next semester, we intend to be rid of the beverage dispensers and cups and replace them with troughs of different varieties that students can lap up like dogs from a water bowl,” Black proclaims. Sodexo believes this will help RPI students, who are generally considered quite antisocial, to strike up conversations and make new friends. “It will be like a watering hole on the Serengeti, where all the lions, zebras, and giraffes can come together and drink in peace.”

Since this new policy has come into place, complaints have dropped dramatically, but Sodexo has declined to comment whether it’s because students with hands full of mashed potatoes can’t write. Nevertheless, this new change will be important in seeing how dining halls in schools across the nation will make similar modifications to their policies. Sodexo plans to implement similar modifications nationwide at schools they provide food services for. Black finished the announcement by saying, “Our number one priority is the student’s satisfaction, and I’m sure these changes will make their eating experience better.”