Monthly Archives: April 2014

RPI Athletics will introduce male lingerie football

New team is first of its kind with, special guidelines to ensure fun for participants alike

Going along with the numerous changes RPI Athletics will undergo this upcoming year, a brand-new sport is to be introduced to the lineup. The male lingerie football team, a gender-bending variation on the former Lingerie Football League, will be the starter team of an altogether new league called the Male Lingerie Football League, or MLFL for short. Read more...

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Tuition rises to $100,000

Plans made for Barton Hall, Blitman renovations

Fellow students of Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute, it saddens me to write this article, but a little known part of the Rensselaer Plan 2048 has been brought to my attention. Apparently, in order to fund RPI’s exorbitant new Presidential Suite, the president of the Institute has silently published a new amendment to The Rensselaer Plan that would slowly raise tuition to $100,000 (not including room and board) over the next 36 years. An inside source close to the president was quoted as saying, “How else are we going to allow the investors to make significant personal upgrades? Money doesn’t grow on trees you know!” Read more...

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Derby

PU obliterates Senate in tell-all student address

Dear Rensselaer Community,

I would like to take a moment to update you all on the latest news from the Senate & Executive Board Long Standing War. As you may or may not be aware, there is a history of bad blood between the two bodies. Senators have been under the mistaken impression that their governing body is superior to that of the Executive Board, because “they created the Board.” Throughout history, there have been many great battles to determine the clearly superior group; however, it is on the battlefield of ice that the victor was recently proclaimed. Read more...

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Table brings something new to … table

Revolutionary new object will change elevated surfaces

I have something I truly need to get off my chest. I saw a new revolutionary product released to the market just the other day. I believe that it is called a “table.” I just want to say “WOW.” This product is a spectacle of modern day engineering. Read more...

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Ratio reverted; new class majority female

The official enrollment numbers for the incoming Class of 2018 have been announced, and according to the Office of Admissions, it will consist of 3,643 students, 3,278 of which are female. Read more...

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Editorial Notebook

Please be straight-forward people, it really helps

Pi Lambda Upsilon brother wants people to mean what they say and say what they mean

The other day, I was asked a question that, in passing, seems simple enough for me to answer. But, for the life of me I couldn’t figure out how to respond. “What’s good?” she said. Read more...

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Indie game wins over critics and gamers

Some say it is too linear, but Line has stolen a solid fanbase

Sunday, March 30 marked the much-awaited release of Vid Games’ new game Line. Line was released for 3DO and Atari Jaguar and there are plans to release a Game Boy version of the game later this year. Read more...

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Incident blotter: Drunk ΠΛΥ pledge, pileup in Freshman Circle

Information provided by Public Safety Investigator Christopher Meloni

Tuesday, April 1

• Freshman Circle Read more...

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Editorial Notebook

Fellow students, I am your grand new leader

Red Gummi Worms party find solace in new, unique GM; Smith rids all school sports

Dear student of the great Rensseler Polytecnik, I am proud to announce that I have been appointed as the next Grand Marshall. This appointment comes after a decision from Renseler where they thought there were no good candidates in this election and well they are kind of and you know just right so they chose me. I have always thought I was the best person for the job and so I am proud to say that they have chosen the best person for the position. Read more...

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Animated film produces great results

Foodfight! proves that at a grocery, there’s a lot in store

This past weekend I had the great opportunity to check out a relatively unknown animated film, Foodfight! This indie gem sprung to my screen last week out of the blue, and while I may not have had the highest expectations going into the film, I can honestly say that it it has set a new precedent for animated features. It is no stretch to say that this is the next Toy Story, and the future of animation can be seen in this film. Read more...

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RPI announces celebrity concert performers

Miley Cyrus, Justin Bieber taking stage at EMPAC; new songs will be played

On May 3, Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus will be doing a concert together in the Experimental Media Performing Arts Center. They will be performing their new song, “Friday Baby Wrecking Ball”. Cyrus also plans to play her new hit, “It’s Time to Get Naked”, while Bieber will be playing several songs from his new album, all of them about drugs, cops, and being a rebel. Read more...

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