RPI announces celebrity concert performers

Miley Cyrus, Justin Bieber taking stage at EMPAC; new songs will be played

MILEY CYRUS AND JUSTIN BIEBER WILL PERFORM at EMPAC May 3. Each stars’ respective agents do not remember booking Troy, NY as one of the touring venues. In response, Cyrus stated, “Hey, it’s all a party in the USA to me.” Bieber added, “I can never say never to a show.” Floor tickets for the concert will be available at the door.

On May 3, Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus will be doing a concert together in the Experimental Media Performing Arts Center. They will be performing their new song, “Friday Baby Wrecking Ball”. Cyrus also plans to play her new hit, “It’s Time to Get Naked”, while Bieber will be playing several songs from his new album, all of them about drugs, cops, and being a rebel.

Many students are looking forward to the concert. “Oh my gosh! Miley Cyrus, is, like, my favorite singer!” Melissa Green ’17 said. “And Justin Bieber is so hot! Oh, and I so wish I could be like Miley Cyrus instead of an engineer! I can’t believe I get to see all of them in one night.” Green talked about how all of her friends were planning to go to the concert and how excited they are to be among the first to hear Cyrus and Bieber’s new song together.

Maximillian Doe ’16 was also excited about the concert. “Concerts are always a time for RPI students to get together and show their appreciation for music. This one will be no different. Also, it is great to see that RPI is becoming more culturally aware and finding singers who are more among today’s trends. Who was it last year? Some random singers I don’t even remember. I didn’t bother going.”

Other students aren’t so impressed. Graduate student Joaquem Ruler seemed confused over why anyone would want to go to a concert starring Cyrus and Bieber. “Aren’t those singers more for middle schoolers? How old does RPI think we are?” Chad Smith ’14 agreed. “I suppose after all the babysitting RPI does, like off-campus jurisdiction and SPAM, having a concert with singers catering to a younger age group is just another thing that RPI is doing to show how young they think we are.”

Esther Jenson ’15, who is on the committee that organized the concert, says that the students who find Bieber and Cyrus juvenile are “boring old fogies.” Jenson explains that Bieber and Cyrus are, in her opinion, some of the best singers in the world. “Of course, older people are so set in their ways that they find new music boring. Anyone who /really/ knows music knows that Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber are some of the hottest singers around. They’re also really creative and really understand today’s culture. You know, getting naked onstage or being arrested for drugs. It’s really cool to see two people who are singers and role models being like real people, you know?”

Regardless of differences in student opinion over the two singers, ticket sales demonstrate that the concert is of great interest to students. Tickets have sold fast since sales started two days ago. Justin Snitezel ’17 complained, “I got my ticket on the second day and all the good seats were gone already!”

Tickets for the concert cost $40 and can be picked up in the Union starting Monday. The concert will be held at 7 pm on Saturday, May 3.

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