APRIL FOOLS’ - ITEM REVIEW

Reviewer jumps on fad: vaping

VAPING HITS popularity charts.

As many of you know, a new fad is hitting the streets, taking the kids by storm, and no one will shut up about it. This new trend: vaping. For those who may not be in the know, vaping is an alternative to smoking, in which flavored water is vaporized to be inhaled by a user in a method similar to smoking. Proponents of vaping say it’s safer and less addictive than smoking, while on the other side people are saying it is too early to say what the long-term effects of vaping might be. But in order to be fair, I wanted to give my unbiased opinion and try it myself.

At first, I was curious about the appeal of vaping. It seemed to be combining smoking with drowning, which just doesn’t tick any good marks in my mind. However, with flavors like Raspberry and Nachos, it definitely got my attention, so I got my first starter kit and tried it out. I have to say, I was hooked. Real hooked. First I started with all the flavors I could, then every flavor, trying to get my fix anywhere I could. If I ran out of fluid, I would try heating up a spoon of water with a lighter in a bathroom, attempting to take in any vapor I could. Soon, the high wasn’t enough. I’d have to buy a fog machine, fill it with vape fluid, and hotbox my car to even go places.

In short, vaping has completely changed my life. I don’t think I’d be the same man today without it. I vape in class, I vape on the street, I vape at home, everywhere. I’ve even begun spreading the vape gospel, blowing vapor into people’s faces whenever I can so they can get some sweet secondhand vape, which, by the way, is much healthier than blowing smoke into a person’s face. While vaping may seem like a niche and difficult to get into the habit of, believe me when I say it is very rewarding. If you don’t believe me, here’s a quote from Senior Bing-Bing Long, who says of vaping: “It’s like when it’s all foggy outside, but that fog is in your mouth and tastes like watermelon.” As a final note, I think our world would be a much better place in general if everyone vapes, so I strongly encourage anyone who reads this, please go out and get a kit. I think finally there’s a way we can end smoking, and the answer is vaping.