In the theory of drinkingmanship, every locality can be classified on a tier system.
You have your first tier cities. These are the cradles of industry and progress, beacons of freedom, hope, and expensive intoxication. Places like New York and Chicago are world class in many ways, but are not optimal for inebriation. It’s primarily a cost issue. Your average alcoholic drink in Chicago is twice as expensive as in a third tier city. Beyond dollars, however, are style points. Going out in Chicago isn’t the same kind of fun as a top-notch third tier city. I take serious issue with any place requiring a dress code, VIP list, or cover charge (unless it buys decent live music). A first tier city is a rare treat, an endeavor that can only be successful if led by locals who are cooler than you and rich enough to buy your drinks.
In contrast is a typical fourth tier town. Think of a rural village, such as Schaghticoke or Coxsackie. Bonus points awarded if you can locate them on a map. Typically the town has one bar. It’s named after the owner or the kind of beer served, is highly sketchy, and is inhabited by a well-established cadre of locals. If you’re unfortunate enough to be stuck in such a place, your only option is to abide by local customs and try to blend in. RPI students should be able to challenge enough patrons at darts to drink free.
The mid-tier cities are where the action is. The most influential second tier city is, of course, Milwaukee, which will be covered in a future article. My all-time favorite setting for drinking, however, is the third tier city. By way of example, this week I review the entire town of Corning, New York, thus:
The city began as a transportation hub for lumber and coal shipments and evolved into a manufacturing center, most notably for the Corning Glass Works. Today it boasts research facilities, museums, and quaint small town charm.
Most relevant to this article, though, is its solid drinking district along Market Street, known as the Gaffer District. At the far eastern end is Maley’s Pub, a classic town bar. It’s frequented by a mix of students from Corning Community College and friendly locals, and serves until the Steuben County mandated 1 am cut-off. During my last visit, a local resident brought his dog, who spent the evening entertaining the patrons and bartender alike. Keep in mind that the place with the visiting dog is the most pretentious bar in town. It actually gets even more laid back.
Near the opposite end of downtown Corning is the Market Street Brewing Company. They brew their own beer, one batch at a time, and have a solid food menu. The best way to visit is to start with dinner and a souvenir pint glass here, then walk east along Market Street toward Maley’s, stopping at whatever taverns are open along the way. Remember, the sheriff is strict about the 1am cut-off. Just past Maley’s is an excellent Radisson Hotel. Rates are under $100. That’s where you crash. It’s quite affordable if you split costs.
To get to the Radisson and the foot of Market Street, take Route 7 west to I-87 south. After the Thruway toll booths, go west on I-90 to exit 25A for I-88 south. Stay on I-88 for about 2 hours until it ends at I-81 near Binghamton. Take I-81 south for about three miles to Route 17 west. From there it’s about an hour to exit 47 for Route 352 west. This road becomes Denison Parkway in Corning. The Radisson’s entrance is at 125 Denison Parkway East, a block south and east of the foot of Market Street. Total drive time is about 3.5 hours and well worth it.
