Learning to feel alive is a once in a lifetime experience. For Andrew Largeman, he has his calling when he returns to New Jersey in the movie Garden State. Played by Zach Braff, Andrew is a partially successful actor living in Los Angeles. He receives a phone call from his estranged father, played by Ian Holm (seen as Bilbo Baggins in the Lord of the Rings series), telling Andrew that his mother has passed away by drowning in her bathtub. After a nine-year absence, he travels back to his old world of friends and family. He also decides to leave the pills he had been taking since he was nine in Los Angeles.

Andrew does not crack a smile through the first half of the movie. He remains unemotional in every circumstance—­even at his own mother’s funeral. As he travels around his town in New Jersey, the audience sees his inability to interact with people. Some of his old companions had random jobs such as a gravedigger, police officer, and inventor of a new silent Velcro. Even during a huge party at his inventor friend’s mansion, Andrew still remains numb to his surroundings.

The next day he goes into the doctor’s office and there he meets a social, lively Samantha, played by Natalie Portman. During this first conversation with Sam, Andrew finally shows his white pearls in the form of a smile. She is unlike any character that he has previously encountered; she has an innocent, unique personality. Utimately, Sam is everything he is not. She symbolizes a fire whose flame he got caught in.

After meeting Sam, Andrew slowly changes. He warps from an apathetic introvert to a screaming, tearing individual. He stops feeling the numbness and lives. I am sure it helped that he stopped having his cocktail of medicine for his depression. He is finally awakened to conquer his life’s abyss at the age of 26 with help of his new companion.

Garden State is a raw movie, full of humor and emotion. Unlike other movies, there does not seem to be a predictable plotline. This movie is also not soley filled with romantic scenes. Instead, it is centered on Andrew and his four-day journey into his past. There is no distinct beginning, middle, and end, like other Hollywood films. Braff, who also starred, wrote his directorial debut. He intentionally made the script different, where the viewer sees glimpses of Andrew’s life before his trip home, and then scenes that impacted his life. The change in his life does not come from one particular event but many small instances.

The humor within this movie is subtle and sometimes original. Having Largeman try on a shirt that was the same fabric as the wallpaper of a bathroom is hilarious. Setting a fast-food knight randomly in a couple of scenes also made me laugh out loud. Even with the slight humor, the tone of this movie tended to be mellow like Andrew’s emotions.

The movie had an unrefined feeling because there are many intentionally ambiguous parts that could have been more developed or clarified. One example is the scenes with Andrew’s father: They seemed quite short. I must admit after watching the bonus deleted scenes, I understood the movie better. They showed two lengthy scenes that conveyed much about Andrew, his relationships with Sam, and his father. Its exclusion from the film lessened the development of these characters. It is a shame that many of the scenes did not make the final cut, especially with the amazing acting that was put into those takes.

Under all the layers, the core of Garden State is a story of a man finding himself. All of us can relate to Andrew. The truth is that the ultimate goals of our lives are self-contentment and self-awareness. Like Andrew, we too are young and searching. This movie will make you realize you will get there; you just need to be ready and willing to take the challenge of your own abyss.