If you spend any time at ESPN’s website or watching “Sportscenter” on TV, you’ve heard about the alleged rape that occurred at a Duke lacrosse off-campus party. For those of you with enough intelligence—I assume no one read the Newsweek cover story; RPI is a smarter place than that I hope—and good taste (more than I have) to avoid ESPN, the details are pretty simple. The lacrosse team had a party where some strippers were paid to entertain. One dancer claims she was pulled into a room and raped by some of the players. The dancer is black and goes to one of the state schools in Durham, NC. You’ll never believe this, but most of the lacrosse players at Duke are white. Some upset people called for swift action, and the situation—heinous crime—has been painted in racial lines. The coach of the team quit, the Duke administration cancelled the rest of the season, and two students were indicted. A bunch of other stuff happened—grandstanding, nasty emails, poor reporting, etc.—but you get the idea.
The whole thing makes me sick.
I’ll spare you the obvious repulsion I have to the whole idea of rape, hoping that it goes without saying. Even absent a gang rape, the lacrosse party combines most of the things I hate into one ugly evening: rich private school kids, grandstanding college administrators, lawyers, politicians, and men acting like complete a-holes with strippers. It is the last item that I want to focus on today.
If you’ve ever been to a women’s (gay guy’s) strip club and compared that scene to your average evening at the straight guy’s (or gay girl’s) skin bar, then you already have some inkling that things aren’t right. When dudes undress for the entertainment of women, the atmosphere is festive, almost euphoric. It is straight out of a movie, with housewives and fat girls whooping and hollering while the dancers play the whole thing out with a ridiculous but fun sense of theatrics—crazy costumes, overdone dance routines, cheesy compliments, etc. Lap dances cost about one dollar.
Cruise over to DiCarlo’s—one of the area’s best strip clubs—and men sit on their hands while the strippers go through the motions of swaying their hips in a repetitive and disinterested manner. The whole thing is depressing for the most part. The few times when there is some energy in the room, or the dancers seem to actually be enjoying themselves, some group of guys takes it way too seriously and starts hollering crude comments or inappropriately grabbing the women. Then it is the lock down, and we go back to stone silence. I can’t believe that watching women take their clothes off can be so depressing. Oh yeah, the lap dances cost about $20 and have all the eroticism of a police lineup.
There are a few simple things that men need to remember when women undress for money. First off, strippers are not hookers, at least not by definition. If you want a girl to (insert your favorite sexual activity) with you for money, then hire a hooker. Second, she doesn’t have a thing for you; you are not going to make her want you because you are wearing cologne or bought a new shirt. Can you get lucky with a stripper? Sure, but it takes the same effort that getting laid with any other woman takes. Third—here’s what’s most important—strippers are entertainers. If you want them to seem like they are having a good time, show them the respect and support that makes them feel good about what they do; and they should feel good about what they do—otherwise the terrorists have already won. Any performer craves some form of applause, and by letting her know that you are happy, she will show some positive feedback. Lastly, don’t degrade a woman who you are paying to undress. I don’t care if you think she’s attractive or not, show some respect. She is not nearly the slut or whore for what she does than you make yourself by paying for it. You are killing all the fun in the room.
If those Duke guys raped that girl, I hope they never get out of jail. But rich kids have a way of not going to jail. That’s another column, though.
Have a good summer, and boycott Japan for their despicable whale hunting.
