“Toward the people that we love that we’ve lost, that will partially heal or will never heal. The world is a darker place without you here. Without your illuminating thoughts illuminating the world is a darker place without you here.” – Brent Green, “To Many Men Strange Fates Are Given”
Dear Michael Dickinson,
Nothing seemed wrong the last time we spoke. In fact, I remember telling you, “I think about guys a lot,” and you telling me, “Don’t worry, I think about girls just as much as you think about guys,” to jokingly comfort me (I still think I am a little more boy-crazy than I should be). It was a nice Spring Break day when we went to Ali Baba for dinner; then, as a show of my obsession, we went to Dunkin’ Donuts to see if my “cute donut guy” was there. And he was.
And it’s times like this that I’m going to miss; these happinesses that you and I had spent together. Like the time I got you two cakes for your 20th birthday (one homemade doughnut cake, the other a Friendly’s ice cream cake). Or the time we adventured New York City, me playing tour guide and you being the tourist. Or late night walks around Troy (something you would frequently do by yourself, but I occasionally had the honor of sharing with you).
I want you to know that I still love you; how there’s still a place for you right in my heart even if you aren’t here to fill it. How you’re a person I chose to share my life with and how you’re a person who has helped me grow for the better; how you’ve had your lasting impact on me even if I’m not consciously aware or constantly reminding myself of it. And how this not only applies to me but to everyone you’ve shared your life with; that you’ll always mean something to someone even if you only helped/cared for them for a little bit; that the people who had a chance to be graced by your life will grow and change but always have some part of them that was affected by you; that therefore, no matter what, you’ll always mean something to the people you loved.