1. I remember being 6 and sitting in my first grade class with my stupid teacher wrapped up in foil. “Guess what I am?!” she asked theclass. We were all silent.
“No one can guess? I’m a witch!”
“… More like an idiot dressed in aluminum …”
2. My family never really celebrated Halloween outside of watching It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown. There was no hanging of decorations, no dressing up, and most certainly no knocking on neighborhood doors. My community was comprised of: A) old, retired people who spoke Russian and played dominoes in the park, and B) a drug dealer who lived across the street from me; both couldn’t care less about handing out chocolate to random kids.
My mother did, however, go to CVS and Rite Aid on November 1 to pick up cheap candy from after-Halloween sales.
3. My high school was pretty big on Halloween. A lot of the students and teachers would dress up (with the exception of me). One of the highlights was in my senior year, when one of the male math instructors dressed up as a slutty French maid. He managed to pull it off a lot better than most of the girls who had the same costume.
“Oops, I dropped something!”
He proceeded to turn around, bend down in his short skirt, and retrieve the fallen item.
4. One Halloween my family made Pillsbury Holiday Cookies. I remember watching the orange pumpkins rising from the center of tan sugar cookies, smiling their toothy grins as if to mock my family’s baking abilities.
My family was never that great at baking; all of our cakes and cookies came from a box or a cylindrical tube. The results weren’t the greatest, but at least they had a certain sense of home that I currently miss.
5. It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown was always a highlight for me. Every year, I would wait for A Charlie Brown [insert holiday] because it was something that my family and I watched together. I never thought the show was all that interesting, but nothing would change and nothing would be different. That is, until my parents and sisters became too busy or too old to watch the specials with me.
I still YouTube these videos and watch them at college on their appropriate days, but they just aren’t the same.