Inside my head, this time last year

“I can do this. I can do this. I’m not dumb. I mean, I’m dumber than that kid Sean who built a laser in the dorm last night, but I did graduate high school, so I can do college. But what if I can’t? These people look really smart. OK, focus. I can’t fail or pass if I don’t find the classroom.

‘Excuse me, do you know where C-eleven is?’

‘No? Well thanks anyway.’

No problem. I’ll just wander around for a while. I wonder if an animal could ever be born that is a perfect genetic match of one of its parents? Maybe a really simple organism without too many chromosomes? I bet someone on this campus knows the answer to that question. Oh! Someone’s talking to me. Do I know where Ricketts is? No. That sounds like a disease. Haha. Some freshman didn’t know I was a freshman. Awesome. But I probably should have asked him where C-eleven is.

Do I want to share my love of post-industrial Norwegian beardcore with the masses? No. I don’t think so. But there was that one club … And that other club …

‘Hi. Do y’all know where C-eleven is?’ Oh no. I just said y’all again. They’re going to laugh at me.

‘CII? Yes, I guess it could have said CII.’

‘Up the stairs?’ Of course it’s up another set of stairs. Everything is up another set of stairs.”

In conclusion, I am filled with admiration for all of the freshmen this week. It is an amazing thing you are doing, and you might not realize it now, but you are going to look back on this week with a little bit of fondness. Maybe you just played hackeysack with the guy who is going to be the best man at your wedding, or maybe the professor you just listened to is going to become your mentor as you cure cancer. Feel free to be nervous, and ask for directions and show up to Sage after it’s closed. There will always be someone who stands up and walks out of the classroom when he realizes it’s CoCo and not IEA, but, next year, it might not be you.