Every choice I have made has been in preparation for a career in math education. When it came to colleges, there was only one thing I had to determine: tech institute or liberal arts? The answer seemed simple: All I wanted to do was math. I was good at math, I wanted to teach math, and I liked math—or did I? I’m actually not so sure anymore. Was I good at math because I liked it, or did I like math because I was good at it? It’s a difficult realization; you might have made a wrong choice and it took you two years to figure it out.
Growing up, I saw writing as a “gift” that I did not possess. Nevertheless, I wanted to be a theater critic. My parents supported my choice, though my mother was slightly disappointed that I didn’t want to be a doctor, and my father said it was fine as long as I also pursued a more “dependable” career such as teaching science or math, in case things don’t work out. Their comments left me in doubt: What made me think that I could be a writer?
I have been told to rewrite a 10-page paper, the night before it was due, because of how poorly written it was. I always knew I wasn’t great, but suddenly I was ashamed, and avoided sharing my writing whenever possible. Thanks to a supportive creative writing teacher the following year, I started to write again, but I still didn’t want people reading my work, so I limited myself to a private journal.
So what’s different today? Why am I a member of The Poly if I am petrified of having my words read? I was convinced that I wasn’t meant to be a writer of any kind; however, with the help of friends, I managed to get back some confidence. However, this renewed self-confidence has presented me with another problem. The surety I had about what I wished to do after graduation was gone. For the first time in my life, I have asked myself, “What will make me happy?” and this time, I am actually listening to what I have to say.
I want to go into journalism.
Now, I still like math, but I feel it’s more like a hobby than something I wish to spend my life doing. So, here’s my predicament: I plan to graduate in 2011 with a math degree from RPI, which has recently dissolved most of its humanities and social sciences, eliminating a number of writing courses I would have taken. Also, until now, I never bothered writing anything I’d share. These aren’t the kind of things that someone hiring for a newspaper is looking for. However, it has been done. It’s not unheard of to go to college for something like music education and wind up working in information technology. If the experience and drive is there, it shouldn’t matter what one’s degree is in. I may not yet have the experience, but I do have the motivation.
