Though I was threatened by Printz to write an excellent

review of his act or else suffer the consequences of having my identity defamed on the internet, such intimidation was unwarranted. Despite waking up at 3:30 am to catch a plane, Printz effortlessly kept both me and the rest of the audience entertained. “I’m giddy because I’m tired,” he said prior to the show. Over the course of the performance last Thursday evening, he joked about a range of subjects from cat-lovers and the unpleasant side effects of sleeping pills, to the scam of Valentine’s Day and the lack of any appropriate hand gesture for saying “Oops! My bad” to fellow motorists on the road.

Printz joked about graffiti on bathroom stall walls and proposed to the audience that the American colonists got the idea to revolt against England after seeing “taxation without representation sucks” scrawled on an outhouse wall. He also openly admitted that he is not good at driving and blamed this on the fact that there is “too much to do” in cars these days. He suggested remedying this in driving tests, recommending that multi-tasking-savvy teenagers could be assessed by asking them to parallel park, call their mom, and dip their chicken nugget into special sauce all at the same time.

Moving on to relationships, Printz ripped on singers and actors for unfairly raising his wife’s expectations for him. “She hears [corny lines] in songs, sees it in movies, and then expects it from schmucks like me,” Printz commented. He criticized John Mayer for snagging the ultimate line of all time, “your body is a wonderland,”and poked fun at Adam Levine of Maroon Five for standing in the rain all day for so-called love. His ultimate complaint, however, lies with Tom Cruise in Jerry Maguire, for his famous line, “You complete me.” Printz grumbled, “The only thing my wife completes is my sentences.”

Printz also covered some of the idiosyncrasies of childhood. He ridiculed the idea of “time out” for children, commenting, “Oh no, Mom! Not the hands-in-that-perpendicular-motion!” He also proposed that the best time of your life comes around age three, citing that you are “an emperor” at this age, and proving it by the fact that you can walk up to any adult, say “Tie my shoe,” and expect that it will happen.

Printz’s act was followed by a brief show put on by Sheer Idiocy, RPI’s own comedic improvisation group. They performed a variety of skits, putting not only themselves, but also the audience and enthusiatic volunteers, to the test of thinking on the spot. The performers hardly faltered as they dished out wit and displayed amazing adaptive talent from one skit to the next. One of their most entertaining skits was “That Darn Clap,” which I could attempt to explain, but I would probably confuse most readers without doing justice to the gifted members of Sheer Idiocy anyway. I actually rewrote this paragraph several times in an effort to explain the skit, but the task really is much too baffling.

The entire performance, showcasing Printz and Sheer Idiocy, was sponsored by UPAC Comedy. Co-chaired by Steve Coonradt and Pat Fallon, UPAC Comedy seeks to bring three to four comedians, hypnotists, or mind readers to campus each semester. If you would like to have a role in deciding which talented individuals grace our campus with their gifts for entertaining, e-mail Coonradt at coonrs@rpi.edu to see how you can get more involved.

Among the pieces of advice Printz bestowed upon the audience was, “If you’re going to be good, just get by. You’re going to the same heaven as the over-achievers.” But do not let this deter you from joining UPAC Comedy—or from doing your homework in the McNeil Room while talented comedians are making fun of you.