Those at risk of suicide are feeling depressed, hopeless, and isolated. You can help someone break this pattern by approaching them with a show of genuine concern. For example, “I’ve noticed you’ve been feeling down for a while. I’m concerned about you. Is there anything I can do to help?” If they dismiss your impression as being inaccurate, just respond with something like “Good, I’m glad you’re okay. If there ever is something upsetting you, I’m around if you need me.” Just knowing that someone cares can make all the difference.

If they do admit to feeling depressed, don’t be afraid to ask, “Are you thinking of killing yourself?” The more specific a plan one has for suicide, the higher the risk.

If the person does sound like they are considering suicide, the first thing to do is just listen, encouraging the person to express their feelings. It is important to acknowledge your understanding of their feelings. Don’t try to minimize it by voicing platitudes such as “Things will get better,” “Look at the bright side,” or “You have so much to live for.” Such statements just will make the person feel that you haven’t understood what they are experiencing which will add to their feeling of isolation. Try, instead, to put into your own words what you hear them saying about how they feel (i.e. “You’re saying it hurts so badly you’d rather not wake up in the morning, etc.”).

Remove or get them to give up anything that could be immediately lethal. This will reduce the likelihood of an impulsive suicidal act, and communicates your concern and willingness to intervene.

If you find the person has a timetable or a plan, take it seriously. Don’t leave him or her alone, or be brushed off by “I’m okay now.”

Keep the person talking about what is bothering them and direct them toward getting professional help right away. If the person is a Rensselaer student have them call the Counseling Center (276-6479), or call our office yourself. Someone can be reached from the Counseling Center 24 hours a day. If it is during office hours, walk the student over to us. If the person is not a Rensselaer student, contact someone in their community—emergency mental health line, family, clergy, doctor. It is better to risk the person being angry at you for violating a confidence, than to have the person kill themselves.

Surviving the aftermath of suicide:

It is all too easy to miss the signs of suicidal thinking until the attempt has been made. Even when we have recognized the signs and have done all we can, there will be situations where the person will succeed in killing themselves. The impact on those left behind is devastating.

Several years ago this article was printed in three installments in The Poly. After the installment on Myths about Suicide I received the following by e-mail: “Dr. Albert, I would like to thank you for writing the article on suicide. I hope it will dispel the myths that many people have about suicide. I lost two brothers to suicide and it has been hard to deal with their deaths.

“I have often told people that suicide is the ultimate temper tantrum. But, people think I am nuts. One thing I think you should point out is that if someone close to you does take their own life that you can’t beat yourself up if you couldn’t prevent it. Sometimes you just don’t pay attention to what is going on until it’s too late. If that happens it won’t help you any by saying that I could have talked them out of it. Sometimes you can’t ever really know if you could have talked someone out of suicide.

“I think most people have a hard time accepting the fact that someone they loved truly did not want to continue living. Personally, as much as it hurts I can accept their decision; I don’t have to agree with it. I hope you don’t mind my input. This is the first time that I read anything on the subject that addresses the myths and not place blame on the people that are left behind.”

This is very well put. Those who survive not only experience a terrible loss, but tend to blame themselves, and at times become suicidal themselves. It is important that family and friends of the person who commits suicide realize they are not the cause of the death. Suicide is the result of a combination of factors including, social, familial, biochemical, and personality factors, and has no single cause.

Those left behind are likely to experience a variety of emotional reactions—depression, anxiety, guilt, anger—and should seek professional help themselves to cope with what they are experiencing, but most of all they need the love and support of those around them.

Online screening of your own suicide risk:

The Jed Foundation, “committed to strengthening the safety net for young adults at risk for suicide,” was established by a couple whose son Jed had taken his life in 1998. Included in its services is the making available of a college mental health web site, http://www.Ulifeline.org/, through which one can anonymously take a suicide risk screening self evaluator, and be directed to resources.

To make use of this anonymous screening, visit our website at http://www.rpi.edu/dept/healthservices/public_html/counseling1.html/, and then go to Ulifeline (under helpful links) and then self evaluator. For anonymous screening for other mental health issues such as depression, alcohol abuse, and anxiety/post traumatic stress disorder, from our website go to: Mental Health Screening and go to begin screening. The Counseling Center e-mail address is counseling@rpi.edu. I can be reached directly at alberj@rpi.edu.