But in reality, the annual Grammy music awards, having a history of racy, raunchy, and downright ridiculous behavior—known as fun—, was pretty lame this time around. The producers even built in a 5 minute “censor-time” broadcast delay in case anything cool did happen, but didn’t even get to use it. What’s wrong with music these days?

Even with all the celebrity energy lining the rows of the LA Staples Center, most of the night’s attention was still concerned with the Janet Jackson’s half-second Superbowl nipple slip, with Justin Timberlake publicly apologizing, Prince singing praise, and Christina Aguilera repeating. Though she was scheduled to present, the “multi-talented” Jackson didn’t even show up at the awards, as she refused to continue apologizing for her “part” in the best halftime show ever.

However, a large number of other big name performers did appear and many performed. But throughout the show, there did seem to be a large amount of confusion with the stage list. The Foo Fighters somehow got mixed up with jazz pianist Chick Corea for a mediocre “Times like These” performance which left some people, myself included, saying, “What the hell?” Even Concord Records, Corea’s label, called the pairing “highly unusual.” Toronto Jazz Trumpeter Brian Chahley also got thrown into a duet with Justin Timberlake, which unfortunately did not make the ex-N’Sync member’s music, or piano playing, any better.

The confusion of the night award however, definitely goes to my man Sting. Coming out in a dress—which may or may not have been just a very lame kilt—and with knee-high socks, Sting performed the classic Roxanne without the rest of his hit 1980’s trio. Halfway through, singer Jean Paul jumped in the mix for what proved to be a good song gone very bad. Don’t get me wrong, Sting is one of my favorite artists of all time, but this was a case where someone should have just called the Police.

A surprising observation of the evening was the number of Beatles tributes given by various celebrity presenters throughout the night. Speeches from Ringo Starr, John McCarthy, and even Yoko Ono expressed heart-felt sentiments about the social changes the Beatles tried to accomplish through their music during this, the 40th anniversary of their descent on the U.S.. Unfortunately, these socially conscious efforts to try and turn the Grammy’s from a commercialistic, moneymaking celebrity showcase to a truly musical event were severely half-baked.

Many legendary Jazz musicians were remembered through commentaries, honorable mentions, and lifetime achievement awards, but when comparing the amount of screen time these talented pioneers received with the amount Pepsi, Timberlake, and Beyonce were able to pull, its just pennies on the dollar. It is unfortunate that the most talented Grammy winners are seen during the day, off television, and only the celebrities are shown at night. If they want us to believe the Grammy’s are really about the music, then it should be the other way around.

In any event, many awards were given; Outkast took home three including best album, Evanescance three including best new artist, Beyonce five, No Doubt one, Coldplay one—two of the few actual bands at the show—, and many other awards for other categories.

On a lighter note, artists like June Carter Cash, Warren Zevon, and a few others won Grammy’s this year, despite the obvious handicap of being dead. I didn’t understand it Sunday night, and I still don’t, so I’m just going with it.