So, pen and notepad in hand, I trekked down to West Hall, arriving shortly before an audience of no more than 100 people. Opening the show at 8 pm were none other than our friends Joey, Mike, Matt, Carrie, Craig, Jeff, and Nate—being just short a Rob, this is starting to sound like a Mouseketeer role call—otherwise known as Sheer Idiocy.

To change things around a bit, they decided instead of improv they would build a human pyramid. Unfortunately, that didn’t fly over too well, so going to plan B the audience was amused with some classic Idiot games. Pan left/pan right, director’s choice, arms expert, last line/first line, and three-way dub were some of the games played, and following protocol, were quite well done. Yay for Idiots, but it was on with the show, as Joey put it: “We’re leaving now. Someone else funny will be here soon.”

After being introduced by Class of ’05 President Roberto Tedesco, Dale K. made his way onto the stage. From his spiked platinum blonde hair streaked with red, down to the glowing shine of his shoes—glorified bowling shoes—Dale seemed anything but ordinary, and the blaring music accompanying his every move definitely supported that.

On stage was a line of chairs, and pacing in front of it Dale explained to the audience who he was and how the show worked. Relying totally on audience participation, volunteers were to be hypnotized on stage. Dale recommended that people with any deep dark secrets, pregnant women, or people who were trying to prove they couldn’t be hypnotized should not volunteer. Then he opened the stage to whomever wished to come up, the chairs filled quickly, with even a few people standing behind them.

Now, the key trick behind hypnotism is relaxation. A hypnotist essentially earns the trust of his participants, and merely aids them in relaxing further and further. The participants aren’t sleeping, though they may seem to be. Ideally then the hypnotist can make suggestions to the participants and they will follow them, but only if they really want to. It is important to understand that if someone is put under hypnosis, they cannot be made to do anything they do no wish to do.

Moving on then, Dale started by helping the volunteers to relax, talking to them quickly while music continued to play in the background. Counting from three to one, most of the volunteers were eventually in a state of what looked like sleep. Continuing the process of relaxation and opening their imaginations, Dale instructed them to picture a balloon filled with helium tied to their wrist and a bucket of sand in their other hand. Soon after, most of the participants’ right hands slowly raised into the air higher and higher as their other hands sank down to the floor.

Delving deeper into the volunteers’ imaginations, Dale placed them all in a hot air balloon, playing out a scenario with a 100 year-old man, scorching heat, freezing winds, a nudist camp volleyball game, and then to Wisconsin where they milked cows. Following their trip, Dale suggested a slew of other things—making them smell horrible smells, think they had x-ray vision allowing them to see through Dale’s clothing, thinking a plush Barney doll was telling them to shut up, and that someone’s shoe in the audience was ringing with a vacuum salesman on the line.

Now to be skeptical: Whether or not any of the participants were really hypnotized is not for me to say, but if not, all of them were doing a fine job of pretending to be. Dale at one point “programmed” the volunteers to think they were curious, hungry, and horny orangutans cleaning people in the audience, including myself. Picking on another male audience member, he then suggested that the male volunteers think they were “The Outback Boys,” Australia’s finest exotic dancers. The audience volunteer got a lap dance he won’t soon forget.